Thursday, March 6, 2008

Empty Handed

no more romantic plan
i've put up and done my best
don't want to lead the blind to scenic landscapes on my chest

Friday, February 29, 2008

im nocturnal.  and I really dont like it.

Tonight was not a good night.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Ill wait

if that's where I'll find it...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

struggling to find motivation...

So I don't really know why I am evening writing in this. Maybe it is my severe lack of motivation for anything resembling school. Who knows...but here I go.

Wow what a year. What a complete fucking roller coaster of a year. There seemed to be a little bit of everything: the good, the bad, the ugly. New environment, new cities, new experiences, some new friends made, some old friends lost, all experiences I wouldn't change for the world.

Summer turned into one of the most memorable times of my life. I spent practically three months with my best friend, going on part two of the continuing crazy adventure of Incuthon. Great music, great people, great cities. Just was an amazing time that I wish I could relive for the rest of my life. I was barely even HOME for most of the summer (so sorry to my friends back home!).

Then August came around, time for the big change. New school meant new friends, new classes, a new stage in my life. Well, it has definitely been an experience. I learned about what real friendship was, by learning what real friendship was not. Kind of a "take one step back, take two steps forward" approach. In the end, I did exactly what had to be done. Why be in a situation that you are not completely happy with, right? I am definitely not one to cut my ties, burn bridges, but it just turned into one of those situations. I grew as a person, and found out who I could truly rely on.

With my first semester out of the way, it was finally time to relax. Winter break came, and well, did not start the way I would have wanted. I lost one of the most influential peopel in my life. My grandmother took care of me for nearly 16 years and there I sat, day after day, watching one of the most horrifying things I had ever seen. I wish that nobody had to experience the pain I witnessed. She had always said that she wanted to make it to Christmas, and she accomplished that.

Things turned into a much more positive note. My amazing cousin flew out from Wisconsin to spend two weeks back in California, I basically had not hung out with her for years and all I can say is that it was the most amazing visit. She is like my little sister and I love her to death. Ended up spending the majority of my winter break with my cousin, and an amazing friend. Board games, late night chats in Denny's with drugged out hippies passing notes, was amazing. What more could I have asked for. Oh wait...I know. A concert :)

After years of writing song after song, I finally got to perform at the Whisky A Go Go on Sunset Blvd. I hadn't been there for years, probably since I was watching my brother on that stage. It was an eerie feeling being on the other side of that stage, not watching, but playing. But it was one of the funnest things I had ever done. My cousin even was up there with me singing back up vocals :). Even with the torrential downpour, I had some amazing friends tough out the drive and come and watch me. Every one of you, Melissa, Megan, Amanda, Q, Chris, thank you so much. You all are amazing.

Winterbreak ended amazingly as well with a trip to Disneyland :). I hadn't been there since grad night. Basically made me feel like a kid again and I loved every second of it. Was with an amazing friend and I can't imagine it being as amazing with anyone else.

Second semester, back at it. Here it goes. I was doin great first semester and was hoping I could keep it up this semester as well. As of right now...I am falling short I don't understand why :( School has been exceedingly difficult, for the first time in a while I am struggling. All I can do is work hard, and hope that everything works out. I can't let the pressure get to me.

This semester I have been spending alot of time in what had basically become my third home. 2 of my closest friends live down in San Diego so i definitely found myself down there ALOT...almost every weekend visiting one, the other, or both.

School has basically been kicking my butt so I have been immobile for the past few weeks, and will remain this way till spring break. As long as I make it through these next 2 and a half weeks I will be happy. The final countdown begins.
2 Weeks 3 Days.
Wow..gotta catch my breath after that one...